My life traveling companion and I recently returned home from a 17-day journey that took us through the Swiss and French Alps and culminated in the marvelous twin cities of Buda-Pest, Hungary.
As with any trip of such magnitude, we spent months researching guidebooks and reading articles about the places we planned to visit. We watched countless hours of the Travel Channel and perused the Internet for tips and ideas from other travelers.
When we embarked a Geneva-bound Continental Airlines Boeing 767 from Newark, NJ, we were ready for anything.
After a brief stay in Geneva, our journey took us along the towns of northern Lac Léman (Lake Geneva.) Our plan was to arrive at our resort destination in the tiny Swiss town of Val-D’illiez in the early evening of our second day.
We casually sauntered through Nyon, Lausanne, Vevey and Montreux, with stops along the way for anything that caught our fancy. As we’ve matured in our tastes, my companion and I are less inclined to visit large cities. Even if the guidebooks call them a "must see," we prefer travels away from the masses.
This was the perfect time of year for that. With a wind chill factor that made the temperatures feel like it was in the 20s, the beaten path was practically empty.
Our plans had also included a day of touring the vineyards that hug the hillsides along the lake. In fact, since we both love wine, this had been a part of the trip that I had researched down to the glass. But Mother Nature had other plans. While it’s not supposed to snow in that part of Switzerland so early in the season, someone apparently forgot to tell Her.
It didn’t take long for us to be reminded of the most important lesson of a relaxing trip:
It’s good to have an itinerary, but plans are made to be broken.
What the tour book called a well-kept highway to our resort, turned into an hour-long, 5 mph trek up a steep snow and ice-covered one-lane roller coaster ride that made Walt Disney’s Expedition Everest seem like a cheap carnival ride.
The road was manageable during the day, but the thought of getting stranded on it at night conjured up headlines I didn't want to consider.
The vineyards would have to wait for another trip. We settled for buying a bottle of wine and drinking it from our terrace overlooking the Alps. If truth be told, I'd settle for that anytime.
One of the reasons I love to travel so much is that I love to learn. The simple lesson taught by that ice-covered road is one I'll carry with me on all future travels.
If a trip is to be enjoyed, you must allow for change. If you stick to what the guidebook says, you end up travelling someone else’s journey. And you miss adventures that were meant for you.
A guide book is just that – a guide, a starting point. Preparation is a vital key to success. But to truly enjoy your journey, trust your instincts. If you love where you are, stay there. Rushing off to see someone else’s idea of a “must-see” destination may leave you empty and exhausted.
It’s a good lesson to remember as you travel the most important journey of all – the journey through life.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Heroes Among Us
As I write this, another Broward County Sheriff's Deputy has lost his life in the line of duty ... gunned down in cold blood in service to his community.
As Managing Editor of NBC6.net, and a 25-year veteran of the news business, you would think that I'd be used to these stories by now. But the truth is, the longer I'm in this business, the more these kinds of stories affect me.
I pray that the tears I shed at my desk after seeing images of the officer's wife leavng the hospital after learning of her husband's death -- a man who she had spoken with 10 minutes before he died -- will be a lesson to my younger colleagues.
The news business is not just about being first. Every story we report has a family behind it. Being the best means recognizing and being sensitive to that fact.
Deputy Paul Rein, 76, a retired 20-year veteran of the force could have been home enjoying his retirement. Instead, he chose to continue to serve. And by doing so he gave his community -- he gave us -- the ultimate gift.
There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for another.
Deputy Rein is not alone. His name is added to the list of heroes who also gave us this gift in 2007: BSO Sgt. Chris Reyka and Miami-Dade County Officer Jose Somohano.
Sgt. Rein's fatal shooting comes days after the Broward Sheriff's Office celebrated what is being called the miracle recovery of Deputy Maury Hernandez who was shot during a routine traffic stop in August.
A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of seeing Miramar police officers, in conjunction with BSO, capture a couple of thieves who had been seen robbing a house in the development where I live.
I was on my way home for lunch when I started seeing police cruisers on just about every corner from Miramar Parkway and I-75 all the way into my neighborhood. My heart was in my throat as turned into my subdivision and found an officer sitting inside a cruiser right outside my door.
Soon a K-9 officer joined the hunt. I watched in awe as the officers went about their job, calmly and methodically.
Within 30 minutes, it was all over. The suspects were caught and everything went back to normal. It was just another 'routine' day for police officers who we so often take for granted.
As a member of this community, all I can say is Thank You. Thank you to all the men and women who risk their lives every day and put themselves in harm's way to protect us.
Thank you also to the families of those who give the greatest gift of all -- the unsung heroes who carry their grief long after it's gone from the headlines.
As Managing Editor of NBC6.net, and a 25-year veteran of the news business, you would think that I'd be used to these stories by now. But the truth is, the longer I'm in this business, the more these kinds of stories affect me.
I pray that the tears I shed at my desk after seeing images of the officer's wife leavng the hospital after learning of her husband's death -- a man who she had spoken with 10 minutes before he died -- will be a lesson to my younger colleagues.
The news business is not just about being first. Every story we report has a family behind it. Being the best means recognizing and being sensitive to that fact.
Deputy Paul Rein, 76, a retired 20-year veteran of the force could have been home enjoying his retirement. Instead, he chose to continue to serve. And by doing so he gave his community -- he gave us -- the ultimate gift.
There is no greater love than to lay down one's life for another.
Deputy Rein is not alone. His name is added to the list of heroes who also gave us this gift in 2007: BSO Sgt. Chris Reyka and Miami-Dade County Officer Jose Somohano.
Sgt. Rein's fatal shooting comes days after the Broward Sheriff's Office celebrated what is being called the miracle recovery of Deputy Maury Hernandez who was shot during a routine traffic stop in August.
A few weeks ago, I had the privilege of seeing Miramar police officers, in conjunction with BSO, capture a couple of thieves who had been seen robbing a house in the development where I live.
I was on my way home for lunch when I started seeing police cruisers on just about every corner from Miramar Parkway and I-75 all the way into my neighborhood. My heart was in my throat as turned into my subdivision and found an officer sitting inside a cruiser right outside my door.
Soon a K-9 officer joined the hunt. I watched in awe as the officers went about their job, calmly and methodically.
Within 30 minutes, it was all over. The suspects were caught and everything went back to normal. It was just another 'routine' day for police officers who we so often take for granted.
As a member of this community, all I can say is Thank You. Thank you to all the men and women who risk their lives every day and put themselves in harm's way to protect us.
Thank you also to the families of those who give the greatest gift of all -- the unsung heroes who carry their grief long after it's gone from the headlines.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Karpe Diem
Opportunity can come at any time in our lives and when it does, we must be prepared to seize the moment.
Nothing – not race, economic class, or age – especially age -- can hold it back. What is meant to be, will be but in its own timeframe.
It’s a lesson that became perfectly clear to me during my recent trip to the Mississippi Gulf Coast, a coast that was nearly obliterated by Hurricane Katrina two years ago.
As readers of this column may recall, I have family in Waveland and Bay St. Louis, Miss., Katrina’s Ground Zero. This was my second trip back since the storm.
Despite having been raised in the neighborhoods of Brooklyn, NY, miles and light years away from jambalaya, red beans and rice and crawfish jumbo, I have a particular affinity to Mississippi’s Gulf Coast. I admit, the food has something to do with it, but mostly it’s about the people and the pace at which they live their lives.
Even after Katrina, when New Orleans got all the attention, the people of Waveland, Bay St. Louis and the surrounding towns, the towns that suffered most but the media forgot, picked up their tools and went about the business of rebuilding.
Two years later, while New Orleans continues to complain, Katrina’s forgotten people are well on their way to recovery. The landscape where their homes once stood may have been reduced to rubble, but nothing – not even a Category 5 hurricane – could rattle the foundations upon which those towns were built.
During my most recent trip, I met an amazing woman named Mary Margaret. She is one of the most positive people I have met in my life and she clearly embodies the spirit of the people of the Gulf Coast.
In a cosmic accident that still brings a smile to my face, she sat down next to me during a gathering at the home of one of my aunts and spilled a freshly-filled glass of Coke on my lap. We made an instant connection.
As often happens, the subject of Katrina came up. “Katrina was a blessing,” she said.
It turns out that for years Mary Margaret had been a writer, but her work had never been published. That very same week, her first book was set to go into its first printing.
“I keep a daily journal which I did faithfully after the storm,” she said.
Right after Katrina, a neighbor got a hold of her journal, sent it to a publisher and just like that, a published author was born. The book is called “My Soul Starts with Katrina.”
“The book will soon be available for pre-sale in Barnes & Noble,” she told me matter-of-factly.
But Mary Margaret isn’t going to sit on her laurels.
“I’m planning on getting another book of poetry out soon,” she said.
Did I mention Mary Margaret is 81 years old?
Opportunity cannot be stopped, but neither can it be rushed.
Be vigilant. Be ready to grab it when it arrives, because opportunity waits for no one.
Are you ready to seize your moment when it arrives?
Nothing – not race, economic class, or age – especially age -- can hold it back. What is meant to be, will be but in its own timeframe.
It’s a lesson that became perfectly clear to me during my recent trip to the Mississippi Gulf Coast, a coast that was nearly obliterated by Hurricane Katrina two years ago.
As readers of this column may recall, I have family in Waveland and Bay St. Louis, Miss., Katrina’s Ground Zero. This was my second trip back since the storm.
Despite having been raised in the neighborhoods of Brooklyn, NY, miles and light years away from jambalaya, red beans and rice and crawfish jumbo, I have a particular affinity to Mississippi’s Gulf Coast. I admit, the food has something to do with it, but mostly it’s about the people and the pace at which they live their lives.
Even after Katrina, when New Orleans got all the attention, the people of Waveland, Bay St. Louis and the surrounding towns, the towns that suffered most but the media forgot, picked up their tools and went about the business of rebuilding.
Two years later, while New Orleans continues to complain, Katrina’s forgotten people are well on their way to recovery. The landscape where their homes once stood may have been reduced to rubble, but nothing – not even a Category 5 hurricane – could rattle the foundations upon which those towns were built.
During my most recent trip, I met an amazing woman named Mary Margaret. She is one of the most positive people I have met in my life and she clearly embodies the spirit of the people of the Gulf Coast.
In a cosmic accident that still brings a smile to my face, she sat down next to me during a gathering at the home of one of my aunts and spilled a freshly-filled glass of Coke on my lap. We made an instant connection.
As often happens, the subject of Katrina came up. “Katrina was a blessing,” she said.
It turns out that for years Mary Margaret had been a writer, but her work had never been published. That very same week, her first book was set to go into its first printing.
“I keep a daily journal which I did faithfully after the storm,” she said.
Right after Katrina, a neighbor got a hold of her journal, sent it to a publisher and just like that, a published author was born. The book is called “My Soul Starts with Katrina.”
“The book will soon be available for pre-sale in Barnes & Noble,” she told me matter-of-factly.
But Mary Margaret isn’t going to sit on her laurels.
“I’m planning on getting another book of poetry out soon,” she said.
Did I mention Mary Margaret is 81 years old?
Opportunity cannot be stopped, but neither can it be rushed.
Be vigilant. Be ready to grab it when it arrives, because opportunity waits for no one.
Are you ready to seize your moment when it arrives?
Monday, September 24, 2007
Be Present
If life were a game of Jeopardy and the answer was “Live in the moment,” the correct question would be: What is the secret to enjoying life to fullest?
Everyone from priests to therapists urge us to, “Be Mindful,” “Enjoy the Process,” and be present to whatever it is we’re doing instead of rushing around mindlessly checking things off our to do lists without taking time to enjoy the things themselves.
It’s advice I was able to put to good use during the past few months as my family and I prepared to celebrate my parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary. As an only child, the responsibility to plan and execute the event fell squarely on my shoulders. It’s a responsibility I considered a privilege.
If ever there’s a time to enjoy the process, it’s when you take a year of your life and use it to plan a four-hour event.
Thankfully, I had someone by my side the entire way to organize what had to be done and see to it that I didn’t go through the process alone. Yet, when things got out of control, my first inclination was to do more.
For instance, I wanted to produce a photo montage set to music, that included pictures of everyone in attendance. The plan was to show the DVD right after the cocktail hour. It was a way to make our guests feel welcome and show them how much we appreciated them sharing the day with us. In order to do this, I asked everyone on the guest list to e-mail me their picture. Most people quickly complied with the request. Others came up with excuses ranging from “I don’t have any pictures of myself,” to “My pictures are locked up in a box that I can’t get to.”
“Enjoy the process,” I reminded myself.
Despite the pitfalls, I was able to gather the photos and put the final touches on the video with three hours to spare. When we played the DVD at the party, you could cut the emotions with a knife.
Some people cried, some cheered. And I silently sat back and realized it had all been worth it. Not only was the payoff great, but knowing how difficult it had been to get to that moment, and having been mindful through the difficulties, made the results that much sweeter.
I can honestly say that not once did the words, “I wish it was August 26th” -- the day AFTER the party -- ever leave my mouth during the months of planning. Each time the thought would sneak into my head, the small, still voice inside my heart reminded me that enjoying the process was many times more valuable than the outcome.
As expected, the party went by at lightning speed. Some things didn’t go according to plan. But at the end of the day, everyone had a great time. And I will be eternally grateful that I took the time to enjoy the craziness of the year that went into planning it.
Thanks to being fully present during those moments of madness, the party will live in my heart forever.
Everyone from priests to therapists urge us to, “Be Mindful,” “Enjoy the Process,” and be present to whatever it is we’re doing instead of rushing around mindlessly checking things off our to do lists without taking time to enjoy the things themselves.
It’s advice I was able to put to good use during the past few months as my family and I prepared to celebrate my parent’s 50th Wedding Anniversary. As an only child, the responsibility to plan and execute the event fell squarely on my shoulders. It’s a responsibility I considered a privilege.
If ever there’s a time to enjoy the process, it’s when you take a year of your life and use it to plan a four-hour event.
Thankfully, I had someone by my side the entire way to organize what had to be done and see to it that I didn’t go through the process alone. Yet, when things got out of control, my first inclination was to do more.
For instance, I wanted to produce a photo montage set to music, that included pictures of everyone in attendance. The plan was to show the DVD right after the cocktail hour. It was a way to make our guests feel welcome and show them how much we appreciated them sharing the day with us. In order to do this, I asked everyone on the guest list to e-mail me their picture. Most people quickly complied with the request. Others came up with excuses ranging from “I don’t have any pictures of myself,” to “My pictures are locked up in a box that I can’t get to.”
“Enjoy the process,” I reminded myself.
Despite the pitfalls, I was able to gather the photos and put the final touches on the video with three hours to spare. When we played the DVD at the party, you could cut the emotions with a knife.
Some people cried, some cheered. And I silently sat back and realized it had all been worth it. Not only was the payoff great, but knowing how difficult it had been to get to that moment, and having been mindful through the difficulties, made the results that much sweeter.
I can honestly say that not once did the words, “I wish it was August 26th” -- the day AFTER the party -- ever leave my mouth during the months of planning. Each time the thought would sneak into my head, the small, still voice inside my heart reminded me that enjoying the process was many times more valuable than the outcome.
As expected, the party went by at lightning speed. Some things didn’t go according to plan. But at the end of the day, everyone had a great time. And I will be eternally grateful that I took the time to enjoy the craziness of the year that went into planning it.
Thanks to being fully present during those moments of madness, the party will live in my heart forever.
Monday, July 16, 2007
You'll Be 50 Soon
“You'll be 50 soon,” a wise friend said to me on my 40th birthday. At the time, I laughed at the absurdity of what she was saying. A fresh, new decade was ahead of me and 50 seemed so very far away.
Nine years later, despite having enjoyed some of the greatest experiences life has to offer, I wonder where the time went.
Here, in no particular order, are 10 lessons learned during that time.
Eat, drink and do everything you enjoy because what doctors and studies say is good for you today they'll say will kill you tomorrow. Moderation is the key. When you no longer enjoy doing something, stop doing it.
Don't let anyone tell you what you want. What’s right for someone else may not be right for you. Listen to advice, but follow your heart before deciding whether or not to act on the counsel of well-meaning friends and relatives. Trust your gut. It will never let you down.
Gently release anyone or anything that no longer guides your journey or illuminates your purpose. That includes people, addictions, and stuff -- like all those old magazines you keep promising yourself you’ll get around to reading someday. You will gain more wisdom by throwing them out than by reading whatever knowledge you think they contain.
With that said, keep a few articles of clothing that are no longer in style. Those concert T-shirts you're thinking of discarding will one day sell for $150 on E-bay.
You'll learn more about unconditional love, trust, joy and the meaning of life in an afternoon spent with a dog than you'll learn in a lifetime of human interaction.
Love the people in your life right now because tomorrow you'll wish you did.
Go back to move forward. The past often contains the answers you're seeking.
Back up your hard drive. Take it from everyone who is nodding their head in agreement while reading this. It will crash on the day before you’re scheduled to back it up. Don’t wait. Do it today.
Talk to God and listen to the casual reply. Although I wish I could take credit for authoring that sentence, I can’t claim it as an original thought. If you don't recognize who penned it, look it up. It will be good practice for researching and verifying things you thought were true because someone told you they were. And don’t forget, the best way to talk to God is to give thanks.
Nothing is as important as right now. Treasure this moment because it's the only sure thing you have. And before you take your next breath, it will be gone.
“You'll be 55 soon,” my friend said to me as I approached by 49th birthday a few weeks ago
Instead of laughing at her like I did nine years ago, I said a silent prayer of thanks for the reminder – a reminder to enjoy life right now because in the blink of an eye, she'll be right.
Nine years later, despite having enjoyed some of the greatest experiences life has to offer, I wonder where the time went.
Here, in no particular order, are 10 lessons learned during that time.
Eat, drink and do everything you enjoy because what doctors and studies say is good for you today they'll say will kill you tomorrow. Moderation is the key. When you no longer enjoy doing something, stop doing it.
Don't let anyone tell you what you want. What’s right for someone else may not be right for you. Listen to advice, but follow your heart before deciding whether or not to act on the counsel of well-meaning friends and relatives. Trust your gut. It will never let you down.
Gently release anyone or anything that no longer guides your journey or illuminates your purpose. That includes people, addictions, and stuff -- like all those old magazines you keep promising yourself you’ll get around to reading someday. You will gain more wisdom by throwing them out than by reading whatever knowledge you think they contain.
With that said, keep a few articles of clothing that are no longer in style. Those concert T-shirts you're thinking of discarding will one day sell for $150 on E-bay.
You'll learn more about unconditional love, trust, joy and the meaning of life in an afternoon spent with a dog than you'll learn in a lifetime of human interaction.
Love the people in your life right now because tomorrow you'll wish you did.
Go back to move forward. The past often contains the answers you're seeking.
Back up your hard drive. Take it from everyone who is nodding their head in agreement while reading this. It will crash on the day before you’re scheduled to back it up. Don’t wait. Do it today.
Talk to God and listen to the casual reply. Although I wish I could take credit for authoring that sentence, I can’t claim it as an original thought. If you don't recognize who penned it, look it up. It will be good practice for researching and verifying things you thought were true because someone told you they were. And don’t forget, the best way to talk to God is to give thanks.
Nothing is as important as right now. Treasure this moment because it's the only sure thing you have. And before you take your next breath, it will be gone.
“You'll be 55 soon,” my friend said to me as I approached by 49th birthday a few weeks ago
Instead of laughing at her like I did nine years ago, I said a silent prayer of thanks for the reminder – a reminder to enjoy life right now because in the blink of an eye, she'll be right.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Dee Wade & The Kittens
We've all heard the Bible story of how God commanded Noah to build an ark, grab his family and a couple of every kind of animal and sit out and wait the great flood.
This summer, that Bible story is a comedic blockbuster movie titled Evan Almighty.
But did you ever stop to wonder why God was so insistent that Noah take the animals on board his cruise?
If the animals didn't take up so much room, surely there were some good people left on earth that Noah could have taken with him.
I recently had several experiences that have helped me answer that question.
The first involved a two-week old kitten, trapped in my parent's attic with no way to get down after it's momma had left it there for safe keeping. Apparently momma cat got distracted rounding up and caring for the rest of her babies and forgot about the runt of the litter she'd left in the crawl space over my parents' garage.
Because I work so closely with local animal rescue groups, my mom knew I would find a way to rescue the kitty and find it a good home.
Early one Sunday morning, I headed over to my folks' house. Within minutes, I spotted kitty's tiny little head poking out from the hole momma cat had used to sneak kitty inside. Meow.
Well, hello to you too my little friend.
My first call was to Miami-Dade Animal Services whose solution to my problem was to hire a private trapper and let him get the cat down. Thanks for nothing. I've helped Miami-Dade Animal Services dozens of times. I'll keep that in mind next time they ask for my assistance.
I then made a phone call to one of the animal rescue groups I work with. Two hours later, a chain of e-mails and phone calls set in motion the solution we were seeking. That afternoon, a wonderful couple who specialize in rescuing and fostering animals showed up at my folk's house and helped bring the kitten down.
For about 10 days my parents cared for the kitten, momma cat and the rest of her litter (who mysteriously showed up when food arrived). Every day, Brigitte, the woman who rescued the kitty, drove from North Miami to my parents' house in Lakes on the Green to check on the cats and offer support.
Thanks to the hundreds of people who were mobilized through that original phone call, the kittens were all adopted or taken to foster homes. For days I continued to get phone calls and e-mails from people wanting to help. It was amazing -- hundreds of people brought together by a tiny kitten that weighed only about three pounds.
About a week later, a lost dog, recreated a similar scene.
I answered my doorbell one evening to find one of my neighbors holding a miniature pinscher with coloring very similar to my black and tan miniature dachshund.
She asked if I knew of anyone who had lost a dog. When I replied I didn't, she assured me she'd keep searching but would keep the dog with her until the owner showed up.
Two days later, I found a flyer in my mailbox with a picture of the same dog. "Have you seen Dee Wade?" it asked. Well, as a matter of fact I had.
I called the number on the flyer and within minutes the couple who had lost came by. We then went in search of the neighbor who had found Dee. I wasn't sure which house she lived in, so we went door to door in the general vicinity of where I'd seen her go the night she came by.
We knocked on a half dozen doors. Not everyone knew who had Dee, but they had seen her and were very helpful trying to help us track her down. Finally, we succeeded in finding her.
The reunion brought tears to my eyes. The only ones disappointed were the two children with whom Dee had been living. They were clearly sad to see her go. But the friendship the couple made with the neighbor who found her leaves no doubt in my mind those kids will be able to play with Dee whenever they want.
Again, an animal weighing less than 10 pounds miraculously turned a group of neighbors who had been strangers into friends.
I no longer wonder why God thought it was so important to save the animals.
This summer, that Bible story is a comedic blockbuster movie titled Evan Almighty.
But did you ever stop to wonder why God was so insistent that Noah take the animals on board his cruise?
If the animals didn't take up so much room, surely there were some good people left on earth that Noah could have taken with him.
I recently had several experiences that have helped me answer that question.
The first involved a two-week old kitten, trapped in my parent's attic with no way to get down after it's momma had left it there for safe keeping. Apparently momma cat got distracted rounding up and caring for the rest of her babies and forgot about the runt of the litter she'd left in the crawl space over my parents' garage.
Because I work so closely with local animal rescue groups, my mom knew I would find a way to rescue the kitty and find it a good home.
Early one Sunday morning, I headed over to my folks' house. Within minutes, I spotted kitty's tiny little head poking out from the hole momma cat had used to sneak kitty inside. Meow.
Well, hello to you too my little friend.
My first call was to Miami-Dade Animal Services whose solution to my problem was to hire a private trapper and let him get the cat down. Thanks for nothing. I've helped Miami-Dade Animal Services dozens of times. I'll keep that in mind next time they ask for my assistance.
I then made a phone call to one of the animal rescue groups I work with. Two hours later, a chain of e-mails and phone calls set in motion the solution we were seeking. That afternoon, a wonderful couple who specialize in rescuing and fostering animals showed up at my folk's house and helped bring the kitten down.
For about 10 days my parents cared for the kitten, momma cat and the rest of her litter (who mysteriously showed up when food arrived). Every day, Brigitte, the woman who rescued the kitty, drove from North Miami to my parents' house in Lakes on the Green to check on the cats and offer support.
Thanks to the hundreds of people who were mobilized through that original phone call, the kittens were all adopted or taken to foster homes. For days I continued to get phone calls and e-mails from people wanting to help. It was amazing -- hundreds of people brought together by a tiny kitten that weighed only about three pounds.
About a week later, a lost dog, recreated a similar scene.
I answered my doorbell one evening to find one of my neighbors holding a miniature pinscher with coloring very similar to my black and tan miniature dachshund.
She asked if I knew of anyone who had lost a dog. When I replied I didn't, she assured me she'd keep searching but would keep the dog with her until the owner showed up.
Two days later, I found a flyer in my mailbox with a picture of the same dog. "Have you seen Dee Wade?" it asked. Well, as a matter of fact I had.
I called the number on the flyer and within minutes the couple who had lost came by. We then went in search of the neighbor who had found Dee. I wasn't sure which house she lived in, so we went door to door in the general vicinity of where I'd seen her go the night she came by.
We knocked on a half dozen doors. Not everyone knew who had Dee, but they had seen her and were very helpful trying to help us track her down. Finally, we succeeded in finding her.
The reunion brought tears to my eyes. The only ones disappointed were the two children with whom Dee had been living. They were clearly sad to see her go. But the friendship the couple made with the neighbor who found her leaves no doubt in my mind those kids will be able to play with Dee whenever they want.
Again, an animal weighing less than 10 pounds miraculously turned a group of neighbors who had been strangers into friends.
I no longer wonder why God thought it was so important to save the animals.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Life Is Terminal
A newly-released scientific study from the Journal Of Doctors Whose Purpose Is To Scare The Living Daylights Out Of You has concluded that if you do anything long enough or often enough it will kill you.
Forget whatever previous studies by renowned scientists around the world said about anything. Right now, somewhere in a laboratory in a country you never heard of, another group of scientists and doctors are proving the exact opposite.
Take exercise, for example. We all know it's good for us, right? Well, not so fast. According to researchers at the Emory University School of Medicine in Georgia, "sporadic exercise of any type might increase levels of bad cholesterol. Short bursts of activity either had no effect on cholesterol or made it rise."
I'm sure you can remember a time when something as benign as milk was an excellent source of calcium, phosphorous, magnesium, vitamin A, vitamin D and helped you build strong bones. But it turns out that whole milk, the stuff we used to down by the gallon as kids, is high in saturated fat and a common cause of food allergy. In fact, many people have what's called lactose intolerance, which causes bloating, gas and diarrhea.
It's a good thing you've got those strong bones because you're going to need them to make those constant runs to the bathroom.
While doing research for this article, I did a Google search for things that are supposed to be good and bad for you. Here are a few highlights of what I found.
Alcohol can be good for you, but it can also kill you.
Being thin is good, but being thin can also be a sign of a deep-seated emotional problem.
Being overweight is unhealthy, but too little fat in your diet is also unhealthy.
Drinking water is good. Drinking too much water is bad.
Herbal supplements are good for you. They are natural and completely safe. Herbal supplements are not safe because they aren’t regulated like prescription medications.
So, who should you believe? How about the expert who lives inside of you? Your body knows what's best for you and it has the wisdom to let you know when something isn't.
This is wisdom my dog taps into every day. Her idea of exercise is to sit on the couch and sleep all day while buried under a mound of blankets. Yet she manages to maintain a buff little body with no fat whatsoever. Perhaps she knows that exercise is good only if you balance it with rest – rest that will prepare her for the hour of squeaky toy catch that awaits her when I get home.
Have you ever have a bad hangover the day after a night of drinking red wine? Red wine is supposed to be good for the heart. But one glass of the stuff is enough to make my head feel like it was hit with a giant torpedo the next morning. It’s my body’s way of telling me to find something else to keep my heart healthy.
Don't let anyone dictate what's best for you. You already know.
Moderation is your best defense against whatever the experts say is bad. And it's your best chance at enjoying life without paying the consequences.
After all, in the end, no one gets out alive.
Forget whatever previous studies by renowned scientists around the world said about anything. Right now, somewhere in a laboratory in a country you never heard of, another group of scientists and doctors are proving the exact opposite.
Take exercise, for example. We all know it's good for us, right? Well, not so fast. According to researchers at the Emory University School of Medicine in Georgia, "sporadic exercise of any type might increase levels of bad cholesterol. Short bursts of activity either had no effect on cholesterol or made it rise."
I'm sure you can remember a time when something as benign as milk was an excellent source of calcium, phosphorous, magnesium, vitamin A, vitamin D and helped you build strong bones. But it turns out that whole milk, the stuff we used to down by the gallon as kids, is high in saturated fat and a common cause of food allergy. In fact, many people have what's called lactose intolerance, which causes bloating, gas and diarrhea.
It's a good thing you've got those strong bones because you're going to need them to make those constant runs to the bathroom.
While doing research for this article, I did a Google search for things that are supposed to be good and bad for you. Here are a few highlights of what I found.
Alcohol can be good for you, but it can also kill you.
Being thin is good, but being thin can also be a sign of a deep-seated emotional problem.
Being overweight is unhealthy, but too little fat in your diet is also unhealthy.
Drinking water is good. Drinking too much water is bad.
Herbal supplements are good for you. They are natural and completely safe. Herbal supplements are not safe because they aren’t regulated like prescription medications.
So, who should you believe? How about the expert who lives inside of you? Your body knows what's best for you and it has the wisdom to let you know when something isn't.
This is wisdom my dog taps into every day. Her idea of exercise is to sit on the couch and sleep all day while buried under a mound of blankets. Yet she manages to maintain a buff little body with no fat whatsoever. Perhaps she knows that exercise is good only if you balance it with rest – rest that will prepare her for the hour of squeaky toy catch that awaits her when I get home.
Have you ever have a bad hangover the day after a night of drinking red wine? Red wine is supposed to be good for the heart. But one glass of the stuff is enough to make my head feel like it was hit with a giant torpedo the next morning. It’s my body’s way of telling me to find something else to keep my heart healthy.
Don't let anyone dictate what's best for you. You already know.
Moderation is your best defense against whatever the experts say is bad. And it's your best chance at enjoying life without paying the consequences.
After all, in the end, no one gets out alive.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Go Ahead, Be Selfish
I love to work out.
There are few things in life that will keep me from my daily run, trip to the gym or at least thirty minutes of daily exercise. I’ve run through every climate you can imagine in just about every continent in the world. I’ve also been known to walk out of a business meeting or two because it was cutting into an appointment with my very expensive trainer.
What started out as a New Year’s resolution to get fit nearly thirty years ago, has turned into a commitment with myself that I rarely miss.
Those thirty minutes I spend during a solitary run or with a group of friends at the gym give me a chance to recharge, both mentally and physically. It’s a kind of meditation that borders on the sacred and allows me to return to my life refreshed, focused, and happy.
The opposite though is somewhat frightening.
My family, friends, coworkers, even my dog know when I’ve missed too many workouts. A cranky toddler having a hissy fit at the mall can’t hold a candle to what I’m like if I deny myself those thirty minutes of alone time each day.
Taken at face value, this may seem like the most selfish, shallow act in the world. But if you were to see me during those occasional weeks when I go more than three days in a row without working up a sweat, you’d pack my gym bag for me.
Working out is one of the most loving things I do on a daily basis. Hear me out.
The Bible tells us "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." And whether you believe this is a mandate sent down by God almighty or just a nice reminder to not hurt one another, you may have overlooked the fact that this commandment is made up of two parts.
The first part - "Love your neighbor" - is used as a weapon from the pulpit to the playground to every battlefield in between to keep the peace. Yet, both preachers and teachers alike often forget part two of that commandment – "as you love yourself."
If you’re going to love your neighbor, you better love yourself first. The more you love yourself, the more you’ll love others. The more time you take for yourself, the more time you’re going to have for others.
For me, that means exercising every day – not just for the physical benefits, but for the mental and spiritual ones as well.
But if exercise isn’t your idea of loving yourself, find something that is. It might be curling up with a good book at the end of the day, writing in a journal, or even just turning off your cell phone for 20 minutes of uninterrupted quiet in the middle of a busy day. Whatever it is, do it.
In time you’ll realize that this selfish act is the most selfless thing you can do for others.
There are few things in life that will keep me from my daily run, trip to the gym or at least thirty minutes of daily exercise. I’ve run through every climate you can imagine in just about every continent in the world. I’ve also been known to walk out of a business meeting or two because it was cutting into an appointment with my very expensive trainer.
What started out as a New Year’s resolution to get fit nearly thirty years ago, has turned into a commitment with myself that I rarely miss.
Those thirty minutes I spend during a solitary run or with a group of friends at the gym give me a chance to recharge, both mentally and physically. It’s a kind of meditation that borders on the sacred and allows me to return to my life refreshed, focused, and happy.
The opposite though is somewhat frightening.
My family, friends, coworkers, even my dog know when I’ve missed too many workouts. A cranky toddler having a hissy fit at the mall can’t hold a candle to what I’m like if I deny myself those thirty minutes of alone time each day.
Taken at face value, this may seem like the most selfish, shallow act in the world. But if you were to see me during those occasional weeks when I go more than three days in a row without working up a sweat, you’d pack my gym bag for me.
Working out is one of the most loving things I do on a daily basis. Hear me out.
The Bible tells us "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." And whether you believe this is a mandate sent down by God almighty or just a nice reminder to not hurt one another, you may have overlooked the fact that this commandment is made up of two parts.
The first part - "Love your neighbor" - is used as a weapon from the pulpit to the playground to every battlefield in between to keep the peace. Yet, both preachers and teachers alike often forget part two of that commandment – "as you love yourself."
If you’re going to love your neighbor, you better love yourself first. The more you love yourself, the more you’ll love others. The more time you take for yourself, the more time you’re going to have for others.
For me, that means exercising every day – not just for the physical benefits, but for the mental and spiritual ones as well.
But if exercise isn’t your idea of loving yourself, find something that is. It might be curling up with a good book at the end of the day, writing in a journal, or even just turning off your cell phone for 20 minutes of uninterrupted quiet in the middle of a busy day. Whatever it is, do it.
In time you’ll realize that this selfish act is the most selfless thing you can do for others.
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Words Wound
Do You Hear Me Now?
By Barbara A. Besteni
Throughout our lives, we often hear sayings such as “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” “Silence is golden” and “God gave you two ears and one mouth. So, listen twice as much as you speak.”
But how often do we take these saying to heart instead of just dismissing them as cliches?Take the one about sticks and stones, for example. Over 40 years after I first heard it, that saying pops into my head whenever someone utters an unkind word to me. If find myself magically transported through time to Sister Agnes' 4th grade class in Brooklyn, and I’m once again an 8-year-old crying because my best friend just called me stupid.Today, 1300 miles and decades later, no matter how hard I try to remember that “words will never hurt me,” they still do.
Words are the most powerful weapons we have. The pen is mightier than the sword.
In fact, the wounds that words inflict fester long after the scars of an 8-year-old falling off the monkey bars have faded into the wrinkles of his mid 80s.
Why do you say to your significant other "You never help me around the house!" when what you're really trying to say is ... "I wish you would appreciate the things I do." Why do you call the cashier at the department store an "idiot" when you wish you could say what's really on your mind. "Look, my boss just gave credit for something I did to someone else. My car needs new tires and I don't know how I'm going to pay for them and to top it all off, just before I left the house my dog pooped on the carpet and I stepped in it."
Saying what we mean can accomplish so much more than merely screaming out in frustration.And if someone lashes out at you, try reading between the lines instead of lashing back in a knee-jerk reaction.
Silence is the most important part of communication. Think of the people you consider to be good communicators. You may be surprised when you realize that they say very little.
A few years ago, I attended a wedding reception and was seated at a table full of strangers. There I met someone who to this day I consider one of the best conversationalists I’ve ever met. This person and I bonded immediately.
It wasn’t until a few days after the reception that I realized I knew practically nothing about him. You see, while I was busy chatting away, he listened intently to what I was saying. He spoke very little but he asked a lot of questions that showed me he was interested in me.
He clearly knew the reason God had given him two ears and one mouth. Thanks to that, we’ve been friends ever since.
Next time you’re at a loss for words, remember that the most effective response is often saying nothing at all.
Silence is indeed golden.
By Barbara A. Besteni
Throughout our lives, we often hear sayings such as “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” “Silence is golden” and “God gave you two ears and one mouth. So, listen twice as much as you speak.”
But how often do we take these saying to heart instead of just dismissing them as cliches?Take the one about sticks and stones, for example. Over 40 years after I first heard it, that saying pops into my head whenever someone utters an unkind word to me. If find myself magically transported through time to Sister Agnes' 4th grade class in Brooklyn, and I’m once again an 8-year-old crying because my best friend just called me stupid.Today, 1300 miles and decades later, no matter how hard I try to remember that “words will never hurt me,” they still do.
Words are the most powerful weapons we have. The pen is mightier than the sword.
In fact, the wounds that words inflict fester long after the scars of an 8-year-old falling off the monkey bars have faded into the wrinkles of his mid 80s.
Why do you say to your significant other "You never help me around the house!" when what you're really trying to say is ... "I wish you would appreciate the things I do." Why do you call the cashier at the department store an "idiot" when you wish you could say what's really on your mind. "Look, my boss just gave credit for something I did to someone else. My car needs new tires and I don't know how I'm going to pay for them and to top it all off, just before I left the house my dog pooped on the carpet and I stepped in it."
Saying what we mean can accomplish so much more than merely screaming out in frustration.And if someone lashes out at you, try reading between the lines instead of lashing back in a knee-jerk reaction.
Silence is the most important part of communication. Think of the people you consider to be good communicators. You may be surprised when you realize that they say very little.
A few years ago, I attended a wedding reception and was seated at a table full of strangers. There I met someone who to this day I consider one of the best conversationalists I’ve ever met. This person and I bonded immediately.
It wasn’t until a few days after the reception that I realized I knew practically nothing about him. You see, while I was busy chatting away, he listened intently to what I was saying. He spoke very little but he asked a lot of questions that showed me he was interested in me.
He clearly knew the reason God had given him two ears and one mouth. Thanks to that, we’ve been friends ever since.
Next time you’re at a loss for words, remember that the most effective response is often saying nothing at all.
Silence is indeed golden.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Does This Make Me Look Fat?
The inspiration for this month's article was sparked by a conversation I had with a colleague of mine while standing at the vending machine in our office lunchroom.
I noticed that my friend was not his usual happy self. He confessed his wife was mad at him and he didn’t know what he had done wrong.
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship longer than 10 seconds knows communication is the key to keeping it happy and stress-free.
Good communication begins with listening. And the golden rule of listening is:
God gave you two ears and one mouth. So listen twice as much as you speak.
It was advice my vending machine friend had forgotten when his wife asked him the scariest question in the history of curiosity: "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?"
When asked that question, you have to use extreme caution if you chose to practice the aforementioned golden rule.
If you listen for a nanosecond too long, you might as well grab your dunce cap and go sit in the corner.
Interjecting short statements or questions into a conversation is also a good way to show people you’re really listening to them.
"Oh, honey, forget the pants. That blouse is gorgeous" would have saved the day for my friend.
"Fat? Well, it all depends what you mean by fat" would have sent him running for his life.
Another important rule of communication is: silence is golden. In fact, saying nothing is often the best way to speak your mind.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the ‘fat/not fat question,’ that's a gold you don't want to dig.
On the other hand, if you answer too quickly or too enthusiastically, you won’t win either. "You are magnificent just the way you are!" By the time this leaves your mouth to the time it lands in someone’s ear, your well-meaning answer has been translated into: "You have no right to even think you would fit into those pants."
You might consider lying. "You’re not fat. In fact, I’m glad you brought it up because you’re starting to look like one of those anorexic runway models from Brazil."
You might contemplate being honest. "Yes, honey, you're fat but I still love you just the way you are." (Try this if you think it would be fun to plan your own funeral.)
My friend, however, had committed the mortal sin of indifference. His answer had been to roll his eyes and walk away muttering: "Oh, no, not again."
I was amazed he still had full use of both his legs.
Now, if he'd really listened, he would have realized his wife had already decided where the responsibility for her alleged fatness lay.
She had not asked "Do I look fat?" Her question was "Do these pants make me look fat?" If she did indeed look fat, clearly the pants were to blame.
(Caution: If you want your key to the front door to work next time you come home, don’t say: "Wow! We really got our money's worth with that new dryer. It's shrinking all your clothes!")
But you see, the question had nothing to do with her weight. And if my friends had cleaned out the wax from one of his two ears long enough, he would have heard the real question his wife was asking.
And nothing proves you’re listening as when you answer not the question being asked, but the question hidden underneath.
"Honey, I may not say it often enough, but, yes, I love you."
I noticed that my friend was not his usual happy self. He confessed his wife was mad at him and he didn’t know what he had done wrong.
Anyone who has ever been in a relationship longer than 10 seconds knows communication is the key to keeping it happy and stress-free.
Good communication begins with listening. And the golden rule of listening is:
God gave you two ears and one mouth. So listen twice as much as you speak.
It was advice my vending machine friend had forgotten when his wife asked him the scariest question in the history of curiosity: "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?"
When asked that question, you have to use extreme caution if you chose to practice the aforementioned golden rule.
If you listen for a nanosecond too long, you might as well grab your dunce cap and go sit in the corner.
Interjecting short statements or questions into a conversation is also a good way to show people you’re really listening to them.
"Oh, honey, forget the pants. That blouse is gorgeous" would have saved the day for my friend.
"Fat? Well, it all depends what you mean by fat" would have sent him running for his life.
Another important rule of communication is: silence is golden. In fact, saying nothing is often the best way to speak your mind.
Unfortunately, when it comes to the ‘fat/not fat question,’ that's a gold you don't want to dig.
On the other hand, if you answer too quickly or too enthusiastically, you won’t win either. "You are magnificent just the way you are!" By the time this leaves your mouth to the time it lands in someone’s ear, your well-meaning answer has been translated into: "You have no right to even think you would fit into those pants."
You might consider lying. "You’re not fat. In fact, I’m glad you brought it up because you’re starting to look like one of those anorexic runway models from Brazil."
You might contemplate being honest. "Yes, honey, you're fat but I still love you just the way you are." (Try this if you think it would be fun to plan your own funeral.)
My friend, however, had committed the mortal sin of indifference. His answer had been to roll his eyes and walk away muttering: "Oh, no, not again."
I was amazed he still had full use of both his legs.
Now, if he'd really listened, he would have realized his wife had already decided where the responsibility for her alleged fatness lay.
She had not asked "Do I look fat?" Her question was "Do these pants make me look fat?" If she did indeed look fat, clearly the pants were to blame.
(Caution: If you want your key to the front door to work next time you come home, don’t say: "Wow! We really got our money's worth with that new dryer. It's shrinking all your clothes!")
But you see, the question had nothing to do with her weight. And if my friends had cleaned out the wax from one of his two ears long enough, he would have heard the real question his wife was asking.
And nothing proves you’re listening as when you answer not the question being asked, but the question hidden underneath.
"Honey, I may not say it often enough, but, yes, I love you."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
